Foot on the pedal – never ever false metal

We saw Run Fat Boy Run at the cinema this past Saturday, starring Simon Pegg. Not that great to be honest. Dylan Moran was alright in it. And there were a lot of Nike logos, which was annoying at first, but after about the 20,000th I grew into a state of tacit acceptance, and at about 30,000 I realised that it was in fact the greatest symbol in the history of mankind, and that life was all about the mantra “Just do it”. I’ve since sold all my possessions, bar of course my Nike trainers, and now live a life of simplicity devoted to the worship of the swoop. If I find where I can get Nike underpants, I’m going to get arrested a lot less now.

Speaking of mind control, I was rather disturbed by an advert for The Alpha course. This was a cinema full of young teenage kids (woooo. Actually they weren’t that bad, the ones next to us that I thought would be a pain actually tutted when some younger kids down the front talked a bit during the film). They’re not allowed to have ads for alcohol, or fags, or indeed many things shoved down their throats, so why should religion be allowed to sell itself to them? When they’re old enough, fine. Although I personally go to the cinema to have naked consumerism pushed to me, and I have no desire to instead have my moral values questioned instead. If I do, I’ll watch a good documentary on the sofa. Questioning morals should always be done in a familiar chair with a cup of tea.