can England lose to Australia at football? Even in a friendly. Its like us beating them at cricket. Or tennis. Or swimming. Or skiing. Or luge. Or tiddlywinks.

Tis evening three of the edit the ninty page, which for varience I mixed up with doing a bit of cv work. I’m not looking but I get round to updating it once a year or so. Always good practice.

Tonight’s NHL Ice Hockey game is Ottawa vs Pittsburgh. “vs” was the very first difference between American and English I ever picked up on. I’d always written “v” as in liverpool v man.utd. Then I saw something in my Great Grape Ape annual that was a sign that said “The Great Grape Ape vs “something or someone or other. It became a personal affectation to always write vs from that point onwards.

Another US/UK sporting anomaly is that when we write liverpool v man utd, we mean that the game will be played at liverpool’s home ground (presently anfield, I suspect not for much longer). In America when they write “Ottawa vs Pittsburgh”, it is shorthand for Ottawa at Pittsburgh, i.e. the second team is the home team.

What does this tell us about the American people? After all, much of their culture originates from we English, but why is it all so different?

Why? because the American’s live to be difficult, awkward for the pure sake of being awkward? What was so fucking important that you had to take a u out of colour? less time writing so you could spend more time eating?

Let it be said that I am one of the biggest Americaphiles in the the western world, and yet they can exasperate the fuck out of me, never mind the leaders of France or Germany.

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