I don’t care who you are, fall off that big thing now please

I’ve just been reading Charlie Brooker’s latest Screen Burn column. You should too. Then come back here.

Done that? Good. Right, where were we?

Okay, early on he sums up nicely one thing that really annoys me about television at the moment. Sometimes there is a need to explain who a person is, what makes them tick. However most of the time, if you’re on a game show say, it really doesn’t matter. So don’t bother telling me.

I. DON’T. CARE. ABOUT. YOUR. FUCKING. JOURNEY. The journey is you auditioned for a telly show, you had some degree of knowledge about said show. You then did your thing. You’re probably not an expert in the field the show deals with, as if you were, you’d be doing it for a living. So sometimes you may find doing said thing a bit tricky. Most of the time though you do the thing to the best of your ability. Then you either win, or you get so far in the show, and go home. Even if you win, you’ll probably make little impact on that area you chose afterwards. Life goes on. It’s not really a journey.

The worst example of this is Total Wipeout on BBC1. If you’re going to run across some big balls and probably fall off, get on with it, don’t give me your life story. The infinitely better Viking (Japanese telly shown on Eurosport 2) doesn’t bother with this, their contestants shout, then get on with something far harder and more impressive. For a bit of fun, they sometimes have them do the same thing with their kids in tow. No lifestory needed.

The other upside of this is that you either get more or less telly, rather than pointless filler about lives I don’t care about. And that is a good thing.

Jamaica runs wild

Well the World Athletics championships got off to something of a flying start. Usain Bolt was just astonishing winning the 100m final in 9.58 seconds. Even more so in that I felt he could have gone very slightly faster, just something in him didn’t quite seem to blast to the very last metre. It wasn’t like his world record at the 2008 Olympics, that was possibly the laziest smashing of a world record anyone has ever seen. But there is just a little more there one senses.

Then tonight Shelley-Ann Fraser took the women’s 100m in 10.73 seconds, boringly (I jest) only the third fastest time in history. A different race, much harder to call beforehand, but ultimately won in style.

This is just the start of the gold medals for Jamaica here, at least the 200m and sprint relays to come, but in a perfect world, Bolt would have a go at the 400m, give us all a treat. I suspect he won’t, but I can hope.